


Haikyuu Yamaguchi X Reader - Why you - why me?

by SilentWolf76



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Character Death, I Made Myself Cry, Injury, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 20:22:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9401462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentWolf76/pseuds/SilentWolf76
Summary: It was no different than any other day. Except, your obliviousness to your surroundings cost someone their life, and that fact will never be forgotten.Nor will Tadashi Yamaguchi, who lost his life saving you.





	

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Sorry I’ve been out for a while, I’ve been distracted by life and focusing on my other stories to get them out of the way. So I thought I’d come back with a bang and make ya’ll cry (probably).
> 
> Oh and just so you know: no happy ending. When I say I’ve written something that’ll make you cry, there just has to be some sort of character death involved. Because I’m mean.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu

No-one could have seen it coming.

No-one could have expected it to happen.

No-one could have done anything about it.

But _everyone_ wished they could have stopped it.

And you blamed yourself the most for it, as you stood by the grave of your best friend.

* * *

 

~Two weeks prior~

You couldn’t help being curious – no, more like having a sense of adventure. You couldn’t help it because it was your nature – and no-one really minded it. And being a manager who wanted to join the Karasuno Volleyball Club, it helped to boost the team’s spirit. Kiyoko, the third-year manager who was looking for a replacement, didn’t even need to go far before you had all but _charged_ up to her, demanding to know where to ‘sign up’, as you’d called it.

You only had half a clue about what you were doing – or rather, what the team was doing, so you instead chose to ‘analyse’ the first-years. There was Hinata, who was so energetic it was unbelievable. Kageyama kind of scared you, what with his constant ‘dumbass’ thrown at Hinata and his seemingly permanent glare. Tsukishima seemed cold at first, but you managed to become fairly close to him, so you saw his more emotional, caring side.

And then there was Yamaguchi. As soon as you saw him, you felt a twinge in your chest. He may not sport a six-pack, or have lustrous, flowing locks or anything like that, but his personality and behaviour just seemed to make your heart melt. Not in a romantic way, though. You instantly knew that you and he would get along well.

So the first time you talked to him, which was after practice, you could clarify for definite that you would be best buddies in no time.

* * *

 

~Flashback~

_“Okay everyone, practice is over! Cool down, and help pack away. You did a great job!” Daichi, ever the inspiring captain, said._

_You noticed Yamaguchi next to Tsukishima, helping to take down the net._ Alright, this is my chance to talk to him, _you thought._

_Jogging over, you held up a hand as a way of waving. “Hey, guys!” You greeted casually (it did come naturally, you suppose). “Need any help?”_

_Tsukishima grunted a noise that you figured meant ‘whatever’ and Yamaguchi furrowed his brows. “Uh…(L/N), was it?”_

_You nodded almost eagerly. “Yeah, (F/N) (L/N).”_

_He smiled. “Got it. And yeah, it would be nice if you could help me with this knot here.” You missed the glance the blonde shot to his friend, but it was gone as soon as it was there._

_You and Yamaguchi had a light conversation, interrupted occasionally by Tsukishima, and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was always like that._

_~_ End of flashback~

* * *

 

However, after spending two months hanging out with them, you found out that Tsukishima wasn’t always quiet, and that he took off his metaphorical mask when he was around you and Yamaguchi.

The three of you were currently heading to Yamaguchi’s house, and were travelling on foot, much to your dismay. It would have been a lot quicker to just get a ride. If you would have known what would happen, then you would’ve _begged_ for a ride to his house.

Walking down the street, you spotted a convenience store, and a sign in the window saying that popsicles were on offer. It was a fairly hot day, after all, so the sign really appealed to you.

“Tadashiiiiii…” you whined to get his attention. You were on a first-name basis with both of them, but Tsukishima preferred you to call him by his last name. But you thought it was too long, so you copied Yamaguchi and called him ‘Tsukki’. After the first few times, he’d given up scolding you for it and just let you.

“-so I just- huh? What is it, (Y/N)?” The freckled teen cut his story off as you interrupted him.

“Do you have any moneyyyyy?”

“No, not a lot. Why?”

“Awwww…” You turned to Tsukishima. “Tsukkiiiiii…”

He ignored you.

“Tsukki. Tsukishima. Kei. Oi!” You started poking him, saying his first name repeatedly with each poke until he growled and turned around.

“ _What_?”

“Do you have any money?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Can you get us some popsicles? Pleeeeeease?” You tried to look as innocent as possible.

“N-” He started to say but paused as he saw both you and Yamaguchi doing the puppy-dog eyes. Sighing, he muttered, “Fine. Stay here,” and walked into the shop.

After 30 seconds, you got bored. “How long is he gonna beeeee?” You groaned, hating having to wait.

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes. “Seriously (Y/N), he hasn’t even been gone a minute.”

You shrugged, before changing the subject. “So, what’re we gonna do at your place?”

“I dunno. Whatever you and Tsukki want to do, really.”

“Helpful.”

He shrugged and opened his mouth to reply when Tsukishima walked back, with three popsicles in hand.

“Here.” The middle blocker all but threw the popsicle in your face while he handed Yamaguchi his. This made you pout, but you shook it off.

“Thanks, Tsukki.”

“Hmph.” He turned round and began walking again, you and Yamaguchi behind him.

As the three of you continued your journey to Yamaguchi’s house, you took your time to savour the popsicle. Yamaguchi had quickly eaten his, and Tsukishima was eating his whilst looking bored out of his mind.

Once you’d finished yours, you stared intensely at the stick while talking. “You know, sometimes you can guess the flavour just by its taste. Or its look. Like, some people usually say that pink is strawberry, but what if it’s raspberry? Wait, is raspberry a lighter colour than strawberry? Ah, I don’t know.” You didn’t notice how Tsukishima slowed down immensely, as if to be out of earshot of your voice, and Yamaguchi was a metre or so behind you, only half paying attention to your ramblings about flavours of popsicles.

You never noticed how your body, as if on autopilot, turned to cross the road at a zebra crossing. If only you’d paid attention.

You never noticed the car, wildly charging down the road towards you. If only you’d paid attention.

“ _(Y/N)!”_ You heard Yamaguchi’s voice as he yelled – no, _screamed_ – your name, and you felt two hands on your back and an almighty shove from behind.

Surging forward, you stumbled a few metres forward, confused by the sickening _thud_ that rang out behind you. _What was that? Did someone fall over?_

Turning round slowly, you gaze in what was once morbid curiosity to sheer horror at the sight of Yamaguchi lying motionless on the road, and a car hastily screeching to a halt, hitting the kerb slightly as it stopped, and a man in his early forties clambering out and staggering towards your friend. You could strongly smell alcohol, and instantly knew that he was intoxicated.

“You little brat!” He yelled, his speech slurred but understandable. “How dare you dent my car, you bas-”

“ _Huh_?” Tsukishima walked up to the man, a menacing aura surrounding him as he glared daggers.

“Are you a friend of that stupid _brat_ there?” The man sneered, jerking his head in the direction of Yamaguchi. You could only watch, frozen to the spot.

“You-!” Tsukishima clenched his fists. “Don’t you _dare_ call Yamaguchi a _brat_. _You_ are an absolute _ass_ , why did you not _stop_?!” His anger was nearly out of control.

“It’s not my fault! It got in the way-”

“’It’? _‘It’?!”_ The middle blocker’s rage exploded. “Yamaguchi is a ‘ _he_ ’, not an ‘ _it_ ’! You worthless piece of sh-”

“Oh, shut up.”

At this point you didn’t think that Tsukishima was even in control of his own actions. He shoved the man, yelling all the profanities he could think of until the man actually started to become scared.

“-you fu-”

The man couldn’t take anymore, and turned tail and fled into his car, wasting no time in driving away as fast as he could, without a second thought about the teen that he’d knocked down.

“Insensitive son of a-” Tsukishima began to mutter, before he spotted a murky substance on the road and the coppery smell that filled the air.

Cursing under his breath, he leapt into action, dropping down onto his knees beside Yamaguchi and checking his pulse and breathing. Both of these things were weak.

“(Y/N)! Why are you just stood there?!” He cried, stoic façade out the window.

Shaking your head, you swallowed bile that rose in your throat as you glanced at Yamaguchi’s mangled left leg.

“What should I do?” You murmured to yourself, but Tsukishima heard you.

“Call an ambulance! Quick!”

Nodding, you pulled out your phone, you quickly dialled the number and asked for an ambulance.

 _“What’s your emergency?”_ The voice on the other end asked calmly.

“M-my friend’s been hit by a car a-and he looks really bad…”

_“Okay. Please give us your location and wait for the paramedics to arrive.”_

You told them your location after wildly looking for a road sign, and the other end hung up.

“He’ll be okay. He’ll be fine. They can help.” You felt tears build in your eyes as you rushed over to your friends. “They’re on their way.” You reported.

Tsukishima either heard you and didn’t reply or ignored you as he kept telling Yamaguchi to respond to him. Now you were closer, you could hear Yamaguchi’s pained wheezing, and what sounded like choking noises. An almighty cough made you flinch, and the blood that continued to splatter onto the road as the pinch server hacked and coughed made you wince. Each cough – no, each _breath_ – hurt him more, as if his ribs were broken. _And then his ribs will puncture one of his lungs, and it’s filling up with blood, and he’s choking on his own blood now,_ you thought with horror.

“Come on, stay with me.” Tsukishima supported his friend by turning him on his side with one hand so the blood wouldn’t clog his airways up as much, and his other hand was rubbing Yamaguchi’s back.

Crouching down beside them, you inhale shakily at the sight of his pain. But then his eyes start to flutter closed, and you know that he can’t go to sleep.

“No, don’t go to sleep.” You spoke to him in as calm a voice as you could do, although it still wavered. “The ambulance is coming, Tadashi, it’s coming. Just hold on. They’ll help you. No, stay awake. C’mon, just a little longer.”

But your encouraging words were for nothing, as he goes limp in Tsukishima’s grip, having passed out.

“ _Tadashi!_ ” Both you and the blonde first-year shout in fear of having lost him. The wailing sirens should deafen you, but you didn’t hear them. Instead, it’s as if the whole world has gone silent, and you can’t tear your eyes away from your unresponsive friend.

The paramedics pull out a stretcher and waste no time in placing Yamaguchi gently onto it. You’re still on the floor, staring in shock at the blood on the road, blood that _shouldn’t even be there_.

“We can only take one of you, who will it be?” You’re snapped back to the painful reality to the sound of a paramedic talking to you and Tsukishima.

You want to go, but so does the first-year who’s known Yamaguchi for longer. You realise who should go.

“Tsukishima, you go.”

“But (Y/N)-”

“Just go, Kei. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Nodding his thanks, Tsukishima climbed into the ambulance and once the doors were closed, it raced off towards the hospital.

You turned away and sprint in the direction of your house, knowing it wasn’t too far away and also remembering that your mother was finishing work early that day, meaning that she would be at home, and she could drive you to the hospital.

The journey seemed to take too long, but as you burst through the front door, startling your mother, who’s just walking through the hallway.

“(Y/N)! What on earth-”

“Mum! Please drive me to the hospital! It’s urgent!” You cut her off, panting from running.

“Wha- are you hurt?”

You shook your head. “No, it’s my friend, he was hit by a…a c-car and there was b-blood and…and he-”

Your eyes, getting teary again, widened as your mother suddenly embraced you. “Shh, it’s alright. Of course I’ll drive you there, and don’t worry. He’ll be okay.”

The journey to the hospital, like when you ran to your house, seemed to take forever, and your mind was convinced that he was going to die.

When, at last, your mother pulled up at the hospital, you all but threw open the car door and leapt out. _Tsukishima’s probably in the waiting room, so I’ll go there._

True enough, Tsukishima was in the waiting room, hands clasped in his lap as he stared at the floor, trembling. Sitting in a chair next to him, you share a silence with him.

“How’s Tadashi?” You asked, dreading his answer.

“…I don’t know.” He answered eventually, taking a shaky breath. “In the ambulance, one of the paramedics said it was bad. They said it quietly, but I heard.”

You nodded to show that you understood, and leant back in your chair. “…I-I’m sorry.”

Tsukishima frowned and turned to you. “Why? It was that stupid driver’s fault-”

“But I started it, didn’t I? The chain reaction that lead to this.”

“What do you mean?”

You sighed, staring at the ceiling. “Well, I was the one to suggest getting popsicles. If I hadn’t done that, then I wouldn’t have gone on and on about flavours and stuff, and I would’ve instead paid attention to my surroundings, and Tadashi…h-he wouldn’t have…”

“But you couldn’t have known that this would happen.”

“I know, but-”

“So you’re not to blame. Completely anyway,” he added the last part to himself. “That drunk driver is. They always say that if you drink and drive, you could get hurt. Except, instead it’s an innocent civilian who got hurt this time.”

“What I don’t understand is why he was even drunk at this time. It’s not even 6PM!”

“Because some people are idiots.” Tsukishima replied simply.

You hummed in agreement and failed to stifle a yawn. “Ah, I’m tired.” You felt guilty at saying that, while your friend was fighting for his life in another room. How could be so selfish?

“Go to sleep then. I’ll wake you up if anything happens.”

“You sure?”

Tsukishima nodded, giving you a look that meant that he didn’t mind, a look that he didn’t often give because there was affection, among other emotions, swirling in his gaze. You closed your eyes, and was instantly out like a light.

The middle blocker sighed and leant back in his chair, trying to digest the events that had just occurred. _So, this is real. Not a dream. Tadashi might_ actually _die._ Fighting back the tears that threatened to fall at the idea of his best friend dying, he closed his eyes, realising that he was exhausted. _Maybe ten minutes’ rest won’t do any harm,_ he thought as he drifted off.

* * *

 

*

 

You and Tsukishima had slept all night in the waiting room, and the doctors didn’t want to disturb you or ask you to leave, knowing that you would flat out refuse. They worked all through the night, and the head doctor was taking a break when another doctor walked up to him.

“Excuse me, sir, but what of the condition of Tadashi Yamaguchi?” She asked, earning a sigh from the head doctor.

“It’s really serious. His left side took the hit, and his left lung is punctured. Several of his ribs on either side are broken, and his left leg is…well, _mangled_. He might never be able to walk on it. He also has internal bleeding and a cracked skull, and they’re probably all of the major injuries. Oh, and his heart is dying, and…” he trailed off, sighing again. “Do you want my opinion?” She nodded. “He probably won’t survive.”

Her blood went cold. “Wh-what?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, not in annoyance, but in sadness. “I don’t think he’ll make it to 6AM.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “But it’s 3AM now! You mean he’s going to die in the next three hours?!” He nodded sadly. The female doctor took a deep breath, looking down. “I heard that he pushed his friend out the way of the car. He sacrificed himself for his friend.”

“Which one? The tall blonde one with glasses?”

“No, the (h/c) one.”

“Ah, right.” The head doctor rose to his feet. “Well, I suppose I better head back. Could you wake his friends up and tell them to…to say their goodbyes?”

“I-I don’t think I can-”

“I know it’s hard. I always hate it when someone dies from something they don’t deserve, whether it be a suicide or a self-sacrificial incident like this; not to mention incurable diseases. It’s probably the worst part of being a doctor. People literally put their lives in our hands, and we can’t even save them all.”

“But we save the majority. Some things are just…meant to be.”

He sighed and sniffed slightly, rubbing his eye. “You’re right.” He cleared his throat. “I will see you soon.” With that, he walked away, leaving the other doctor to tell the friends of the dying teenager the bad news.

* * *

 

*

 

You were gently shaken awake by a female doctor who you didn’t recognise.

“C’mon, you have to wake up.” She said, waking Tsukishima up as well.

“What is it?” He said groggily, before he remembered the situation. “How is he?”

“I…” she hesitated, “I’ve come to get you two so…so you can say your g-goodbyes.”

You didn’t understand and stared at her blankly, until the words began to sink in. “What…do you mean…?”

Sadly, she nodded, biting her lip. “I’m sorry, I really am, but…he’s not going to make it.”

It was as if your world had just come crashing down. _My friend’s gonna die…because of me? Oh my God,_ you felt sick at the thought.

Trembling, the pair of you followed the doctor to the room which held Yamaguchi.

“I’ll…leave you alone with him, alright?” She murmured as she opened the door and stepped aside, allowing you and Tsukishima to enter. You went in first, and gasped when you saw Yamaguchi.

He was lying in the middle of a clean bed, with a breathing tube and hooked up to a heart monitor. His left leg was bandaged, but not in a cast. His eyes were open, but one of them looked like it had trouble focusing.

Hurrying over to his bed, you stared at him as he slowly, almost mechanically, turned his head to face you. _Such a small motion took so much effort,_ you thought as you noticed the increase of beeps on the heart monitor.

You didn’t notice Tsukishima walk over to Yamaguchi in some sort of daze as he sat in the chair on the left of his freckled friend. His arm, although bandaged, was still functional, so when Tsukishima grasped his hand, Yamaguchi was able to return the gesture, albeit wincing as he did so.

You copied the bespectacled teen on his other side, gingerly holding his right hand and relaxing slightly when his hand squeezed yours.

A peaceful silence fell upon the three of you, but you were the first to break it. “Why…?” Was all you said, and luckily the other two understood what you meant.

“Because you’re my friend.” Yamaguchi replied slowly.

“But getting hurt isn’t something that friends do!” You cried.

“No, but being selfless _is_ something that friends do.”

“I…” You trailed off, biting your lip.

Yamaguchi coughed weakly, alarming both of you. Just as Tsukishima opened his mouth to say something, the bedridden teen spoke first. “I’m dying, aren’t I.” It wasn’t a question; just a fact that neither you nor Tsukishima wanted to believe.

“N-” You started to say, but Tsukishima spoke over you.

“Yes.” But he wasn’t done. “And Tadashi, know that I would give anything to keep you alive, but obviously my wish just isn’t worthy enough of the universe.”

Yamaguchi looked down. “Tsukki-”

“Kei.” Tsukishima corrected.

He looked up. “What?”

“Call me Kei. Please.”

After considering it for a moment, Yamaguchi nodded. “Alright. Kei, let me ask you something. Do you think that what I did was crazy, or stupid, or wrong?”

“Of course. You could have just yelled ‘(Y/N)’ and left it at that, or something, but instead-”

“Okay, okay. I haven’t finished.” Tsukishima mumbled an apology. “If you had to choose between sacrificing your friends or sacrificing yourself, why one would you choose.”

“Sacrificing myself. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that I had sacrificed my friends.”

“Then me and you share the same views. Would you rather let (Y/N) get hit by a car or sacrifice yourself?”

Tsukishima opened and closed his mouth like a gaping fish.

“Exactly.” He turned to you. “(Y/N), please know that you’re a very close friend of mine.”

“I already know that!” You felt tears rise in your eyes.

“Good.” He smiled and closed his eyes. “Goodbye, (Y/N).”

Shaking, you frowned. _It’s too soon, no, he can’t go, not yet._ “Tada-”

“I’ll never forget you.”

You whimpered, overcome with emotion as a tear rolled down your face. “Y-yeah. I’ll never forget you either. G-g…” you took a deep breath, “goodbye, Tadashi.” You couldn't prevent his passing. You could only accept it and be with him until the end.

He nodded slightly and coughed. “Damn…s’getting hard to talk…” he murmured to himself.

“Tadashi, what am I gonna do without you?” Tsukishima asked, his voice wavering and cracking.

“Keep walking down the path fate chose for you. Don’t look back.”

“But I don’t want to forget you!”

“Kei, there’s a difference between forgetting someone and holding onto their memory. I never told you to forget me; I told you to keep travelling through life for both me and you.”

Tsukishima’s throat closed up and he silently nodded. Yamaguchi opened his eyes and looked at him.

“Goodbye, Kei.”

The normally stoic teen sniffled and rubbed his eyes. “G-goodbye, Tadashi.”

“Oh, and know this; when your time comes, know that I’ll be waiting for you.”

You and Tsukishima both knew it was time, but didn’t want to admit it. Instead, you watched as he smiled softly, closed his eyes and exhaled for the last time, before flatlining.

And Tadashi Yamaguchi passed away.

* * *

 

~Two weeks later~

 

It didn’t take long to organise a funeral, and it was held only two weeks after Yamaguchi’s death. The driver who had hit him was arrested, and you and Tsukishima stood before the fresh grave of your best friend.

“I-I just can’t believe he’s gone.” You murmured, eyes never leaving Yamaguchi’s grave.

“Yeah.” Was all Tsukishima said, also staring at the grave.

Before you realised it, you started singing the second half of the first verse of a song that fitted all too well to your current situation.

“ _When the tears come streaming down your face,”_ you began.

“ _When you lose something that you can’t replace,”_

_“When you love someone but it goes to waste,”_

_“Could it be worse?”_

You only realised you were crying when your throat closed up and your vision went blurry. As you glanced to the side, you noticed that Tsukishima was crying as well.

Suddenly, you got drawn into your thoughts. _Why you?_ You thought as you fixed your eyes on his name on the gravestone. _Why did you have to die so tragically? And so early? Why of all people did it have to be my best friend that saved me at the cost of his own life? This should never have happened._

Your breath hitched slightly. _Why me? Why did you push me out of the way, and pay the ultimate price for it, and not just let me get hit? Why did you feel the need to protect me? This should never have happened._

But one thing was for certain: you would never forget Tadashi Yamaguchi, the single reason why you’re still alive right now. And no matter how much he’d be missed, and how painful it would be, you would always think of him as the greatest friend you’ve ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Aaaaand I’m crying. Are you guys crying? Meh, I don’t know.
> 
> The song was Fix You by Coldplay. It fitted the story so well. In fact, that song inspired this fic.


End file.
